My Breastfeeding Journey.

This isn’t what I expected.

I still recall going to the breastfeeding workshop, pregnant with my first son Rafel. I knew nothing back then but I still remember going back home, super excited to breast feed my baby.

Few months passed by, gave birth and nothing happened how I had planned it to be. I started breast feeding from birth and unfortunately Rafel wasn't gaining any weight.

We had to visit the breast feeding clinic very often to check Rafel’s weight. Also my sister in law, which happens to be a midwife, visited me frequently at home. Since Rafel was born at the weight of 4.16kg, I learnt that I had a very slow flow of milk to feed a baby that big. My milk flow wasn't enough for Rafel, so after a lot of attempts, worried days and nights, 3 months went by and I had to opt for formula milk.

Failed breast feeding at first attempt. Not feeling guilty at all, at least I've tried my best. Another reason that it could of also been unsuccessful with the feeding attempt is that I wasn’t at ease and felt stressed with the radical changes in my life after having our first baby.

A year and a month later we were blessed with our second child, Tereża. This time I had a mindset of come what may. I was open to breast feeding or bottle feeding. I decided to go for what works best.

You might ask yourself, what about breastfeeding, did it work this time around?

The first attempts where showing good results. Tereża latched, and although I had to go through the pain of sore nipples I still didn’t give up because I loved the bond and the time spent breastfeeding. There was still a tiny challenge! Tereża was gaining weight, but few grams per week. So that means she was growing quite slow to the recommended weight gain. I knew it inside my heart that she was happy and she was being fed enough. I didn’t want to start worrying and comparing Tereża’s weight with other babies, babies that were much bigger. Tereża was “petite”, she was born 3.34kg, and her growth was at a different pace than others.

So I kept pushing to breast feed whilst trying my best to choose the best options to breast pump as to increase the flow. At that time, I knew that electric pumps won't be the best option for me with a one year old Rafel seeking my attention, so I tried the portable, wireless sucking option which is the Haakaa Pump. I still remember my first pump was early morning in bed, and to my surprise, the pump was filling up. It was my first time to actually see milk flowing out, because with a slow milk supply problem I never knew that I truly had milk in my breasts.

I did use my Haakaa as often as possible, but to be honest with you, the lifestyle I was in I preferred to latch my baby rather than pumping, storing milk etc... Having said that, with my third child due this February I would prefer the Haakaa than the electric pumps, as they are very practical and convenient especially having 2 toddlers in the house. We will see how it goes by then and will keep you posted. Since then, Tereza choose only breastmilk and refused all other formula options. I continued to breastfeed Tereza till 1 Year and 3 months.

Having shared my story with you, I really encourage mothers out there. You do not have to breastfeed to be considered a good mum, it is all about trying your best with your baby. Remember that, motherhood brings alot of joy but also new challenges in life that you have to fight everyday. Always keep in mind that you are not alone and it's a phase you have to embrace till your baby grows into another phase in life.

All you mothers reading this, know that you will grow during this journey and get to know more your own limitations and strengths.

Much love,

Maria